5.24pm - it's nice to lie back with a couple of your friends and talk about anything under the sun once in a while. it's been a great day i must say.

training in the morning. was writing the names on the stat sheets like mr ong asked me to when i turned and saw tricia trudging in lugging a looong box that was almost as tall as her! hahas. turns out she sold her xmas tree to alvina. weird. ran 5 rounds for warm-ups and ran infront with rachie. now i know why joycelin and the other leaders run so fast. with no one infront of you, you can't exactly gauge the speed very easily. got yelled at to slow down a coupla times. did 4 corners and couldnt breathe quite fast.

did 3 weave and that was when my headache hit me. the first shot of the day, i slipped and my ankle went crink and my back hurt for awhile. couldnt concentrate during training. my head hurt. ended up falling on, spanking, slapping and punching the guarders a couple of times. hahas. match was okay. played a little wif naval base only. played against the some of the juniors. hur. people shouldnt stand behind their opponents. you teammates cant see you sia. yep.

hahas. cut cake/brownie and sang bdae song for rachie after trng. finished it quite fast. took alot of vids and photos. some idiot so smart. dance until hit her head on the 'pillar'. hahahs. talk of the day. headed to macs and ate abit going to cd rama with sandra, gy, mitch and rachie. gy bought her clay aiken cd. hahas. was complaining that i was bored and they decided to leave to save me from my boredom when i saw the listening post! AH. stood there for ages with them waiting for me. hahsa. enjoyed myself for awhile.

headed to the mrt station so that mitch could top up her card. decided not to go find the guys that went for haircuts so mitch left cause she thought we were gonna leave too. in the end she stayed. so YAYEE. hahas. called her back and sat at the mrt station talking, laughing and singing. mr tan appeared a coupla times. he was prollie drunk. hahas. weird guy. yep. left at bout 4 then came homee. so tired.

7.08pm - been lazy around just surfing the next for stupid stuff. downloading mp3s and all. loads of nice songs, but the group is now NON-EXISTENT. stupid. hahas. ya la. i am prettaye slow at this kinda songs.

did a new wallpaper fer hp its so BRIGHT and WHITE now. hmms. OKAY i shant say animore. its too boring. i need ice cream.

7.43pm - when you see me there, believe me. i would have come a very long way to get to my dream.

well. woke up earlyy but left the house late. met mel at habourfront mrt then we headed to sentosa. whee. was damn tired. walked alot alot alot alot. damn stupid. tanned for awhile before selina and kim came. OMG. it was freaking hot! not a good idea to bring a teeny weeny bottle of water :/. my eyes are damn dry now. hurhur. aniways. it started dripping so we wenta wash up and wen we came out.. THE SUN WAS OUT. stupid. so ya. came home. so tired.

blogging's not making sense anymore.

9.09pm - woke up late today. like 7.15 or sumting. rushed breakie den reached school at 8! AHS. suddenly gy came from behind me. so not bad. wasn't that late. nobody sat out today! so miraculous. so me and gy wenta st gabs to get the water pushing thingy. budden dey were in the pe room so we wenta st gabs to looks fer mrs nicks but she wasnt tere. hurhur. the cleaning uncle lent us some. XIEXIE UNCLE! so sweet ((:

training was considerably fun. it was kinda weird and demoralising at some points. had freethrow competition. ahhas adeline leow and joycelin the champs lor. both from our team! woots! wenta weights room and did some workouts and all. so tiring. wheee.

went for lunch at macs. with jac.gy.rachie and sandra. sandras an idiot. after that headed to heeren to get some stuff. AHH. got the westlife cd. hahas so nicee. makes me feel lyk dancing tooo. whee. love the earrings ((:

so bored. BLAH. some people dun realise that you're supposed to KEEP QUIET in a freaking library. if not why have a libby??!?! stupid.

le grá go deo,
me.

6.49pm - and so i'm back! i duno what came over me and i offered my time and opinion to kim for shopping. BAD MOVE. so tired. and she din buy anything! carol met up with us and we went from heeren to taka to wisma and finally to scotts. i'm deaded.

anyways. came home and daddy was home. asked ruth jiejie why he came back so early and guess what. THE CEILING IN MY MAIDS BATHROOM COLLAPSED! it's nuts! so if i'm not wrong. there is water dripping in some places and some ceilings are in danger of collapsing. i say we should just evacuate this stupid house. still not over the shock :|

12.09pm - so here i am. bored to my panties cause tanning's postponed yet AGAIN. i have a feeling we're really gonna end up not going. started with 3 then 6 then... 2?!?! it's nuts i tell u. hurhur. so here i am. sitting with the chaoda smell going around the entire house thanks to yours truly who forgot that SUGAR BURNS. and if sugar burns, so will chocolated coated and sugar coated DONUTS!! stupid. now my poor donuts are in the dustbin. either black with soot are hard like rock. stupid me.

so yeah. xrays were sent to the ex-physiologist. hurs. they want me to go for physio. like i got alot of time. so what if my mc ends today? i might not be able to go back tomorrow. arghs. stupid knees. see what dr singh tells daddy. HUR. bet it's just some stupid excuse for me to quit bball. i've heard enough "u may have to quite YOUR basketball." to last me a last time. i get it daddy! ENOUGH! stop it. stop it.

while i wait for news, i shall sit here and console myself. i'll be seated, on the bench taking stats and writing viewpoints for the rest of my life. wow. how grand.

11.25pm - it would be quite an understatement to say that i'm jealous. my peers, living a life of dream. a dream that i would only dare say i fantasize about.

sometimes i curse myself for my luck, being born in singapore where opportunities rarely come about for us to seize. i curse the stupid education system. the long hours spent in school, studying and ccas too. i curse the people around me. for being so not the way i want them to be. but i guess there are somethings in this world i have to make do with.

i curse my ristricted vocal range, the way my voice breaks when i hit those notes. the way. the powerless echo. i curse my feet for being so out of shape, my toenails for being so tiny. i curse my knees for perpetually screwing up on me. i curse the way i spend so much time on the next doing rubbish and chatting in net lingo thus screwing my english further. i curse the shit that goes through my mind day in and day out.

i curse my inability to speak up for my own rights. i curse the times i hid my feelings. i curse the times i wanted to scream and shout but didn't do anything about it. i curse those dreams that seem so far away.

but,
what's the use of all this cursing?

in the end, everything won't change, unless i stop cursing and do something about it. unless i take the initiative and go out of my way to get those chances. i want it. i want my dream. badly. i want to live the dream. i want to experience the dream that others like me only dare dream of. i want to look back in a couple of years and be proud of it.

i want it.. i want it.. i want it damnit!


I used to think
I had the answers to everything
But now I know
That life doesn't always go my way, yeah
Feels like I'm caught in the middle
That's when I realize

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I'm in between
I'm not a girl

There is no need to protect me
It's time that I
Learn to face up to this on my own, oh


I've seen so much more than you know now
So don't tell me to shut my eyes

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I'm in between
I'm not a girl

But if you look at me closely
You will see it in my eyes
This girl will always find her way

(I'm not a girl) I'm not a girl, don't tell me what to believe
(Not yet a woman) I'm just trying to find the woman in me, yeah
(All I need is time) Oh, all I need is time
That's mine, while I'm in between

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I'm in between

I'm not a girl, ooh
Not yet a woman

11.45pm - was going around my daily forums when i came across the lyrics of this song again. it speaks alot for itself. and me. enjoyy


Isn't it weird.
Isn't it strange.
Even though we're just two strangers on this runaway train
We're both trying to find a place in the sun
We've lived in the shadows, doesn't everyone
Isn't it strange
how we all feel a little bit weird sometimes

Isn't it hard.
Standing in the rain.
yeah You're on the verge of going crazy and your heart's in pain
No one can hear but you're screaming so loud
You feel all alone in a faceless crowd
Isn't it strange how we all get a little bit weird sometimes.

Sitting on the side.
Waiting for a sign.
Hoping that my luck will change.
Reaching for a hand that can understand,
someone who feels the same.
When you live in a cookie cutter world being different is a sin.
So you don't stand out. And you don't fit in. Weird.

Sitting on the side.
Waiting for a sign.
Hoping that my luck will change.
Reaching for a hand that can understand, someone who feels the same.
When you live in a cookie cutter world if you're different you can't win.
So you don't stand out and you don't fit in. Weird.

Isn't it strange how we all feel a little bit weird
Strange, how we all get a little bit.
Strange, 'cause we're all just a little bit weird sometimes.

9.36pm - hey all. haven't got my x-rays back yet. knees are fine. well not exactly. i get like tiny electric shocks everytime i walk, run, stand, sit. every single movement.it's like. tweak. zap. tweak. squeek. crunch. zap.zap.zap. i seriously just want to cut off my knees and be done with it.

stupid. no squating. no kneeling. reduced walking and running. what the hell. i can't even stop that! i HATE YOU KNEES! stupid knobby knees. all you do is make me feel bad about myself.

will my knees put me off pursuing my dreams?! be it now or the future? stupid stupid knees.

7.17pm -

woots. whole day wasted away. woke up early and called dr. singh. went down to get my knee checked. worn out patella or something. whatever. got sent down fer an x ray. yep. it was okay. whoa. high level of radiation in me. so many xrays
1)heart
2)heart
3)back
4)knee
in 3 yrs! :||||

it's crazy i tell you. hahahas. okay. had dim sum with daddy for lunch den walked arnd taka and hmv fer bout 2 hrs before i went for tuition. really no use fer gg home. so didnt. hehe.

been singing this song the last few days. love itt.

It's funny how it starts, just how it all begins.
You get your sights on dreams,and man a thousand different things.
You are on for yourself,you're chasing cool desire.
You get addicted fast, but man you're playin' with fire.

Then there's a day that comes to you.
When you get all you want, but there's a space inside that's still as empty as it was.
'Till an angel comes your way and man she's fallin fast.
You know she's so in need but she is to afraid to ask.

So you hold on out your hands and catch her best you can.
And in givin' love you feel a better man.

*And the gift is what you get by givin' more than you receive.
And you're learnin' fast that maybe this is how you'll be happy.
'Cause in takin' everything you lost, the air you need to breath.
But in givin' it away, you found the precious thing you seek.

Man, it's funny how she smiles, how grateful she is now.
And how that touches me deep in my heart somehow.
Yet the mirror laughs at me when I forget myself.
When I complain about, this hand that I got dealt.

And if I had know before, how much she would change my life.
I'd sure go back in time and tell that guy ...hey, man.
You can do better than this, you can answer your prayers.
You can grant your own wish.

Just hold on out your hands and give the most you can.
And I swear to you you'll feel a better man.

*Repeat

And it's better by far to do what you do now.
And leave the rest to love.
Just be strong in who you are.
Once you start on that road.
You're safe in the knowledge.
That anyway you go.
Will lead you home.

*Repeat

So precious precious precious...

*Repeat

4.21pm - woots. wenta jurong point with ruth cheche today. watched princess diaries! HAHHAHSA. it RAWKS! anne hathaway is so damn chio. watch it guys. it's really cool. hahas (:

bot a new pair of heels for xmas. AH. after so long. so weird. wearing heels. but 2 inch i tink. so erm. quite scary. heels+bad knees=disaster waiting to happen. so let's hope my knee clears up abit. shall go see dr. singh tmr. maybe it's just cartilage wear-out=mc. but i hope it's not so bad! sekali have to go fer operation i LAUGH. i'll just kiss hawaii and bball goodbye -mwahhs mwahhs.

i'm loving my new skin! THANKS ALOT TO MY BELOVED DAUGHTER CHARLENE FOR FIXING IT UP FER ME! I LOVE YIEW! ((:!! i cld seriously sit here all day and stare at dunk! HAH! i'm crazy. (:

10.31pm - FINALLY CHANGED ME LAYOUT! WOOTS! more later XD

8.30pm -

ripped from mels blog

mel ended up having a straight forward heart talk with many others.
it was
emotional,
teary,
harsh,
good self reflection,
for all of us.
its hard to know your own true character
or rather are you even yourself to begin with.
words from people around you do make you think twice.
realise sometimes, how stupid insensitive self oblivious people we can be?

it might be the last time before the distance amongst all of us widen.
im not worried.
i know we are close knitted
we have that special bonding :)



so un-mel. but who cares. it says exactly wad i wanna say.

if i can't be a singapore idol at least i can be on singapore idol. hahahs.

the guys fer cool! sang bdae song wif us. took millions of kazillions of piccies wif us.

umbrella part was damn funnaye.


sly:(walking into the lobby sheltering both himself and daphney wif this giant esso umbrella)
oli:eh! sly do you know thats bad luck?
sly:(umbrella closed)ya i know and i still happily happily walk in(passes umbrella to suk kian)

lols.

in the lift wif sly brenda accidently snorted. scolded dem. oops. hahahas.

oli had long hair and heels! cool eh. hahas.

11.53am - sadly speaking, it's finally goodbye. shit. 2 years of fun, laughter, seriousness,mugging, bitching, day dreaming and yaking nonsensically is finally over.we're a year older, a year wiser and a year fufiled. it's hard. it really is.

2 years, 712 days, 17088 hours, 1025280 minutes and 61516800 seconds have gone by and i guess i've grown, i've changed,be it emotionally, physically or mentally. as i look back on my past, i remember the innocence, the lies, the hurt, the tears i've cried, the laughter i've let off and the days i met new people thus making new friend and finally hurting them. it's human nature i guess, whether i hurt you deliberately or semi-conciously i'm sorry and hope you can forgive me.

sometimes we have to say goodbye
sometimes we have to leave
we've gotta move on,
we've gotta get on.
it's hard,
but it's still life.

i'll always remember the smiles
the laughter,
the tears i've cried
and the melodies we shared

i'll keep in mind
my friends,
my loved ones,
and my lessons learnt today.

but i don't want to say goodbye,
i don't want to say goodbye
i don't want to say goodbye
goodbye my friend.

11.27pm - today's a good day. so i'm happy

got so much done today. wahhas. not much sims played but oh well. on the brighter side of things. i got my pants AND my shorts AND my NEW FONE. (new line all! i can't remember my new no. oops)

day started off weird. :\. thought it was gonna be a bad day and all. woke up early and was ready to head to church when daddy decided he wanted to eat PAU. so ya. he had to heat up his stupid pau and all of us were waiting and waiting and waiting. i was half asleep. kor was unusually happy, jie was early and well. we were all ready. so here we were 3 'kids' and a mommy wif purple hair were leaning against daddy's car waiting fer daddy to come. and i was getting agitated. elooo. cath clas?? stupid presentation to be done or no promotion? elo elo. HURRY UP LA PEOPLE. wahahahas. my head was screaming. oh wells. told mommy and mommy screamed at daddy that i was gonna be late and ya.

alot of grumbling on the elders part. kor and his 2 front teeth. poor teeth are rotting having had contact wif someones head a few months/years earlier. mommy was pissed cos she paid alot for dental insurance a few months earlier and it just ended and now he told her that he needed a root canal. she said he din say aniting lor. quite stupid la. parents. hurhur. i was sitting next to her when he told her can? stupid whatever. not making sense

so ya. after church (powerpoint didn't work man!hahahahhas. so had to present orally. auntie mary's email add: gandi@blahhhh.com) WTH RITE?! lols. stupid. so ya. headed to clementi central to top up my ez-link and ended up shopping instead. bot 2 pairs of shorts fer 7 bucks! one of them was addidas1 so ya. quite cool. wahhas. after that headed to samuels and kevin and dey were having their 50% sale again! hahas. found this damn nice pair of pants and went to pay fer it. guess what. i was $1.50 short! damn stupid. so i reserved it and came homeeeee.

had tuition, which jiejie din come home for!!! and then left fer central wif ruth jiejie. bot 2 pairs of pants from samuels and kevins (20 bucks each! original price of each:$59 and $49) and another pair of shorts. so ya. DAMN CHEAP CAN! wahhas. happieee..

came home den mommy came in to see what i bot la. den we talked bout wads gg to happen la. as in what i had planned. den i said i got no fone so she said "u wan to go get it now?" so we did! after alootttt of time on the fone and at the M1 placey at taka. ya. came home bout an hour ago. SLEEPY!. night all

CHALET TOMORROW!

3.00pm -

TOP 10 BEST MALE VOCALISTS not in order of favour

MARK feehily westlife
BRIAN mcfadden ex-westlife
LEE ryan blue
DUNCAN james blue
JOSH groban josh groban la.
MARK read ex-a1
BILLY gilman billy gilman lor. before his voice broke
MARK feehily westlife

stupid. i dun even have 10! if u can think of any drop me a line. thanks!

2.20pm - here i am sitting infront of the stupid computer screen somewhat rotting to death while rachie, san and gy are off ice skating a few minutes away. stupid choir. sok herren's not bad already. hahas. knew this would happen!

ANIWAYS. committed a BEEG booboo yesterday. I FORGOT TO BLOG ABOUT THREE BLIND MICE MUSIC HIT! aniways. 3 blind mice is me,sam,emili,eunice and ali! sam's our music producer AKA body guard AKA non-lyric writer cos she'll write porno songs. NEVER TRUST SAM WIF PEN AND PAPER. badbad. suprised she's not taking bio man. bet she'll enjoy the bio practicals. MUHAHAHAS. so

BACK TO THE STORY

3 blind mice. well. only sam, LP and 1 were standing on the escalator at taka and we were singing the pug jelly song when suddenly the guy infront of us started bobbing his head to the music! we were lyk HURHUR! den he said we sounded nice. HAHAHHAS. damn funnaye. luffed alot. then erm. at the escalator near tangs we started singing again! and this time this guy and this woman turned around and LOOKED AT US.OMG SO MAHLU. but so fun. HAHHAS.

three blind mice has 2 hit singles. i fell in love with that guy on tv and the math song! whee. three blind mice has a debut album coming out soon at a store near near NEAR you. meanwhile u can check us out HERE. budden again there's nothing there so dun bother clicking. ;) wahhahas.

8.14pm - THREE BLIND MICE went out today! so fun!! me LP and music producer. was 1/2 late. cos i OVERSLEPT. woke up at noon and hurriedly bathed and RAN outta the house and met them at somerset station. poor people had to wait so long. oops. hehe. you love me!! i know you do! wahhahas. walked around heeren alot of times. did alot of rubbish. window-shopped blah blah. den erm. looked at erm ya. but all so expensive!! saw somebody. AH. was like OH SHIT _____ whahahas. den ran awayy. den we tried to run downstairs budden escalator at other end so ya. we ran and i headed fer hmv and emili headed to this shop at hte other end and sam was like torn between who to run after so me and emili ran towards each others direction when we found that both of us were running in diff directions so in the end we stopped in the middle ran into hmv wif the security card shouting "GIRL! STOP RUNNING!". wahhahahahas.

sat at the fountain at heeren taking piccies watching mtv on the screens. and waiting fer ali and her mummy to come. den dey wenta change cos dey were wet while i sat wif wifey watching mtvs. whahas. oh wells. headed to taka to look fer bras and stuff. saw nicenice er-hurm but i was $156++ nicenice! hahahas. oh well. WAYY over the budget. ali bot earrings! while laopo producer and i tried on all sorta hats and gloves. took more piccies.luffed alot den ya. ali and her mommy left! so sad.

3 blind mice then headed to far east and me and emili bot our er-hurms mine in orange hers in red. ahhas she tried so many. btw. it's not what u mite tink it is. DUN TINK DIRTY PEOPLE. eww. hahas. okays. ya. peied emili to eat den we went home.

story end. sam's foneless!!

6.51pm - so i'm like sick. i think i haf the flu or something! flu+training=chest pain!! omg. had difficulty breathing for most part of training. but other than that was not bad i guess. besides the scorching heat. omg. was damn dehydrated.

left for choir at lyk. 10.30. so boring. sok herren is one of the most BORING SONGS ANYONE CAN EVER COME ACROSS. same goes fer the stupid jap song. budden again. i'll probably grow to like it when erm. i grow sick of it! hahahas. whatever. hawaii!!!

was supposed to to central wif joy and nicky but i din wanna walk in the rain, get drenched and sit in the library for 3 hrs! so in the end joy went home for piano and nicky and i left for central. after she came up wif a brilliant idea - stealing an umbrella from the prefects room! woots! the perks of having a bestfren hus a prefect. hahas. if only we could drive and the prefects had a car for emergency uses eg. rain. we can just steal it man!

so aniways. me and nicky were sharing this sobigyetsosmall FUSHIA almost shocking pink/purple umbrella and walking to the 231 busstop. wahhas. alot alot of puddles on the way. managed to keep my feet/socks/inside of shoes dry until oh-so-very-smart sam fell from the elevated part of the walkway thus scraping her leg and gaining about 3938489278578445 litres of water in her shoe. OMG. my shoes was squeaking even at macs. so paisey. sounded lyk i was FARTING.

bot new socks cos water was retained in socks. so ewwie and umcomfortable. eww. so aniways. me and nicky bot same black socks. changed in the toilet den wenta libby to return bookies! after that took 105 home.

so tired i tink my eyes chaoda lers. wahhahash. chaoda ler.