Thursday, January 29, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
the one with the sinking feeling
2.20pm - the sense of longing has been greater this couple of days than it has been in awhile. sometimes i think back and wonder how things would be like today if things turned out better 3 years ago, and yet i have no regrets. today is happier, more hopeful.
the future is so uncertain and yet i wish i could just make time pass faster.
i think i spent the better part of 2008 asking people "where do you see yourself __ years from now?". be it 5, 15 or 20 it almost scares me how near yet so faraway everything is.
sometimes during one of those long lonely bus rides i love so much, i imagine how things would be like many many years down the road. where will my friends be, where would my siblings be, how would my parents look like.
sometimes it's scary to know that in order for time to pass, someone close to me is losing the number of years, days, breaths they have left.
sitting here, listening incessantly to The Sequel, it's almost scary how the most nebulous lyrics can relate so much to anyone.
would someone like to buy me a crystal ball?
oh paranoia, please leave me.
the future is so uncertain and yet i wish i could just make time pass faster.
i think i spent the better part of 2008 asking people "where do you see yourself __ years from now?". be it 5, 15 or 20 it almost scares me how near yet so faraway everything is.
sometimes during one of those long lonely bus rides i love so much, i imagine how things would be like many many years down the road. where will my friends be, where would my siblings be, how would my parents look like.
sometimes it's scary to know that in order for time to pass, someone close to me is losing the number of years, days, breaths they have left.
sitting here, listening incessantly to The Sequel, it's almost scary how the most nebulous lyrics can relate so much to anyone.
would someone like to buy me a crystal ball?
oh paranoia, please leave me.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
the one where there's been a year of heartache
2.22am - it's been almost a year since you've left and i guess in a way things have kind of been easier. i know you're up there watching me and guiding me through life because i know i would not have gotten through all the shit that has happened in the last few months without you. i hope you're proud of me and proud of where i am today (even though i know i can do much better). i guess in a way all the chinese new year talk has seriously got me missing you so much more than usual. i worry about how things will be like when the day does roll around, or when people show up hoping to see you not knowing that you're gone. what are we supposed to say, or do. i thank you for your guidance and your subtle presense in my life. i just wish you were here for me to hold. i know you'll love my new hair, you always were supportive. you'd run your fingers through my hair and tell me i looked pretty (even when i didn't feel it). you'd tell me to put on long pants when i shivered in my shorts of coughed/sneezed one time too many. i don't even know what i'm typing anymore.
i just know that i miss you. yes, i miss you.
i just know that i miss you. yes, i miss you.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
the one with the new hair
10.13am -
snipsnip.buzzzzz.
i think it's pretty safe to say that i'm in l-o-v-e with it. uncle dennis srsly did an awesomeawesome job. there's nothing more liberating than getting a serious haircut. woohoo.
snipsnip.buzzzzz.
i think it's pretty safe to say that i'm in l-o-v-e with it. uncle dennis srsly did an awesomeawesome job. there's nothing more liberating than getting a serious haircut. woohoo.
